Harris Vows to Crackdown on Price Gouging

Acknowledging that "since President Biden's attempt to use the 'bully pulpit' to try to shame corporate price gougers into accepting a fair mark-up approach hasn't worked," Democrat presidential nominee Vice-President Kamala Harris said "I will be taking a more aggressive approach. Within the first 100 days of a Harris/Walz administration we will issue a matrix delineating the fair prices for every major consumer product. I will instruct the Federal Trade Commission to monitor compliance and punish those businesses that violate our guidelines."

She called this approach "the only sure way to put a lid on the inflation caused by the pandemic and the Russian invasion of Ukraine." Reminded that her proposed price controls resembled the methods used by the old Soviet Union where standing in line for hours to buy food was common, Harris pointed out that "spending time to acquire something is the most equitable method of leveling the playing field. Allowing prices to rise favors the rich over the poor. Those familiar with history can attest to the fact that the Soviet Union had no inflation and workers never had to go on strike for higher wages. I challenge Trump to come up with a better plan."

Trump observed that "all the economic improvements in our lives have been the result of free enterprise. This allows human initiative to profit from making better products more efficiently. Government regulation of prices slows down progress and reduces the opportunities for future generations to prosper. As we have seen, the Soviet Union had chronic shortages of output. Their under-performing socialist economy is the main reason why their empire collapsed. Rather than try to impose a failed economic system on America what we need to do to fight inflation is stop the billions of dollars of government spending that Democrats have wasted on green energy fiascos, supporting illegal immigrants, and subsidizing Ukraine's war with Russia."

Washington Post columnist Catherine Rampell slammed Harris' price control idea in an article titled "When your opponent calls you 'communist,' maybe don't propose price controls?" Rampell wrote "it's hard to exaggerate how bad it is" and predicted "shortages, black markets and hoarding--the same kind distortions seen whenever politicians tried to limit price increases by fiat. Requiring companies to post cost and pricing plans publicly is a fantastic way for companies to collude to keep prices higher — all facilitated by the government."

Dem Vote-Buying Scheme

The US Supreme Court has already ruled that President Biden lacks the authority to cancel student debt. Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) also acknowledged "the president of the United States does not have the power for debt forgiveness. That has to be an act of Congress." Nevertheless, the Biden/Harris Administration plans to announce a massive cancellation of $147 billion of student debt between now and election day.

Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona said "let me be clear, President Biden and I are determined to lower costs for student loan borrowers. Technically, we don't have the specific legal authority to do this without an act of Congress, but by announcing the cancellation before election day we can get the votes needed for Democrats to win the election and have Congress enact an ex post facto law to provide the required authority and expand the Supreme Court to ensure that future needed progressive change won't be stymied by conservative Justices."

Cardona characterized the plan as "ingenious. Each beneficiary will gain tens of thousands of dollars in debt relief and will know who to thank when they vote. The costs will be borne by the much larger cohort of taxpayers each of whom will only see an added of hundreds of dollars in costs, if, in fact, they see anything at all because tax hikes and inflation aren't itemized. In any case, they won't know who to blame until it's too late."

In related news, the Inflation Reduction Act's $30 per month subsidy to each Medicare Part D beneficiary to lower out-of-pocket drug costs expires on October 1, 2024. To keep out-of-pocket drug costs from rising the subsidy will need to rise to $140 per month. Since Congress hasn't yet authorized this increase the Administration intends to illegally boost the subsidy. Secretary of Health and Human Services Xavier Becerra explained that "rather than have retirees become enraged by an unsubsidized premium for their drugs before Democrats are safely reelected, we thought it is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. Even if Trump wins I can't see him trying to prosecute us for this little indiscretion."

Google Explains Approach to Political News

In July former president Donald trump was shot in the ear while giving a campaign speech in Pennsylvania. Users attempting to access this event on Google had trouble. The site routed them away from the event and toward the 1950 attempted assassination of President Harry Truman by Puerto Rican gunmen.

This week, the Harris/Walz campaign used the Google site to post phony news headlines falsely attributed to Reuters, CBS News, CNN, NPR and AP. The bogus headlines included: "Harris Will Lower Health Costs," "Harris' Vision: Lower Costs And Higher Wages," and "Inflation Is Down."

Mark Isakowitz, Google Vice President of Government Affairs and Public Policy, in the US and Canada, explained that "there has been no definitive statement from the FBI that the incident in Pennsylvania was an assassination attempt. In contrast, the assassination attempt on President Truman is a matter of historical fact. Rather than jump to a conclusion that the whole thing wasn't a staged hoax we decided to wait for official confirmation from a reliable source."

"As for the fake headlines inserted onto our site by the Harris/Walz campaign, all I can say is how were we supposed to know?" Isakowitz complained. "Reuters, CBS News, CNN, NPR, AP, and most other mainstream media outlets have been working as hard as they can to bolster the Harris/Walz ticket over the past month and Democrats generally for years. We ourselves have written similar headlines. To borrow a thought from the highly credible and legendary CBS giant Dan Rather, 'these headlines may be fake, but accurate.' So, from our perspective there's no harm done."

In related news, Democrat nominee for vice-president, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz turned down a request from the New York Times to discuss his role as governor in dealing with the 2020 George Floyd riots where two people were killed and over 1,500 buildings were burned, causing an estimated at $500 million in damage. "I'm sure the Times is only trying to help me," Walz said, "but our campaign is focused on our aspirations for the future. As Kamala has so wisely pointed out, 'the past is comprised by things that have happened before now.' Both Kamala and I agree 'we will not be burdened by what has been.' Most of the media is cool with this strategy. We hope that the Times can fall in line."

Biden/Harris Admin Considering Deal with Iran

An American security delegation secretly traveled to Tehran in order to try to deescalate tensions in the region between Iran and Israel. In a meeting with Iran's Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei the delegation is reported to have supplied the names of ten Israeli agents in Iran that are believed to have been involved in the assassination of Hamas's Ismail Haniyeh when he visited the country in late July.

US Secretary of State Tony Blinken insisted that "we haven't given up any names yet, but we won't rule it out as an option. If the alternative is a regional war between Iran and Israel, the sacrifice of a few foreign spies in exchange for peace doesn't seem such a bad deal. I would postulate that the lives of ten Israeli assassins might be enough revenge for one Hamas leader's life and persuade Iran's leaders not to attack Israel. Regardless of who wins the war, thousands of civilians on both sides would be killed."

In related news, it turns out that in 2022 Vice-President Harris sent a message to Iran saying "the truth is there is racial discrimination in America. There is xenophobia in America. Anti-Semitism, Islamophobia, homophobia." Harris's national security policy adviser Philip Gordon called the message "tactful diplomacy. By pointing out that our two nations share some common values and problems she hoped to abate the mutual hostility that former president Trump had ratcheted up during his term in office. It' turns out that it has done more than abate the hostility. Iran has set up the niothinker.com website that is now posting favorable comments about the Harris/Walz ticket."

Measuring Crime

Democrats contend that crime rose while Trump was president and fell after Biden took office. Republicans contend that crime fell when Trump was president and rose after Biden took office.

Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg cited FBI statistics, saying "if you look this up at home, you will know that crime went down under Biden and crime went up under Trump." Democrat nominee for vice-president Gov. Tim Walz asserted "make no mistake, violent crime was up under Donald Trump."

The Bureau of Justice Statistics' National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS) asks a yearly sample of 240,000 people whether they have been victims of crime. Up until recently, the both the FBI's data on crimes reported to the police and the crimes reported in the NCVS tracked each other fairly closely. While Trump was president the FBI data showed crime decreasing by 1%. The NCVS data showed crime decreasing by 17%. Over the past few years, though, they have diverged with the FBI data showing a modest 4% decline in crime since Biden took office and the NCVS data showing a 43% increase.

Buttigieg insisted that "the issue is one of credibility. When it comes to integrity and honesty there is no more reliable source of data on crime than the FBI. All of America knows and respects the heroic efforts of this great organization to uphold the laws of this country and putting their lives on the line to ensure that justice prevails. The NCVS is just a survey subject to the types of errors common to survey research. We see that in every survey of voter opinions where the results are typically plus or minus a few percent."

Elon Musk offered a different explanation, saying "the 'soft-on-crime' attitude--defunding police, no bail release of arrested suspects, and abuse of prosecutorial discretion--of the progressive Democrats has simultaneously encouraged criminals to dare to commit crimes and discouraged victims to report crimes to the police. It has gotten to the point where people aren't even bothering reporting crime because they don't think anything good is going to happen if they do. People know that they are less safe now than they were four years ago. Democrat policies offer nothing that will make our streets, businesses and homes any safer."

In related news, the FBI has thoroughly scrubbed the scene of the July 13 attempted assassination of Trump. The assassin's blood was washed off the roof. His body was released and cremated. His autopsy report has yet to be released. The FBI refuted allegations that they are interfering with Congress' investigation of the incident, saying "we are merely following standard procedures for what remains an open investigation. When we close this case we will release any evidence we deem suitable for public disclosure. Until then we advise everyone to calm down and be patient."

Meanwhile, members of the Secret Service team providing security for a Kamala Harris fund raising campaign event broke into a Massachusetts hair salon so they could have access to private bathroom facilities. According to Alicia Powers, owner of the salon, "they picked the lock, went in and out multiple times over an hour-and-a-half, snacked on the candy by the reception desk intended for salon customers, and when they were done, left the doors unlocked." At first, Secret Service spokesperson Melissa McKenzie insisted that "we would never do something like that." Later when the shop owner said she had them on video tape, the head of the Secret Service's Boston field office called her to apologize, but also pointed out that "considering the fact that each Secret Service agent is expected to take a bullet for the person they are protecting they deserve better accommodations than the disgusting porta-potty rentals provided at the Harris event. So, I can't really blame the agents for opting to go elsewhere."

Dem PAC Files Complaint

End Citizens United (ECU), a PAC that supports Democrat candidates, filed a complaint with the Federal Election Commission (FEC) alleging that "the Trump interview with Elon Musk on Musk's X platform is an illegal in-kind campaign contribution of massive proportions. Such a brazen corporate contribution undermines the anti-corruption aims of the Federal Election Campaign Act of 1971, and the Commission should immediately investigate these violations and take appropriate remedial action."

The fact that Musk has offered equal time to Vice-President Harris didn't diminish ECU President Tiffany Muller's concerns. "First, the Trump/Musk podcast had a billion views," she said. "There's no way that a billion people would view a Harris/Musk podcast. Second, Trump and Musk spent the whole time sitting and talking about issues. The Harris/Walz campaign is not about issues. It is about people jumping with joy over the opportunity to have a united progressive ticket for the first time in American history."

Musk said he is "okay with allowing Kamala to bring Tim along to help explain how they will bring joy to America. I think a lot of voters would like to hear how they think they will accomplish that."

"It's clear that Musk doesn't understand why his behavior is so unfair," Muller lamented. "The Harris/Walz campaign is about feeling the vibe. It's not the kind of thing that can be discussed or debated. It is either felt or not felt. It definitely won't be felt if Musk is involved. His cold logic would kill the buzz. Granting Harris and Walz equal time on a Musk podcast would not result in true equity. Musk must be punished and silenced. It's the only thing that can save our democracy from his election meddling."