IPFS
Bob Ross
More About: Feminism"Woman, Have Some Couth About Yourself"
“Woman, Have Some Couth about Yourself”*
In the past couple of days there has been a debate going back and forth between libertarian feminists, other types of feminists, and libertarian men all stemming from this video. The creator of the video, Julie Borowski, has come under fire for espousing her opinions on why there aren’t more female libertarians which include a stronger tendency to conform to social norms and consumption of vacuous magazines geared toward women that are rife with liberal propaganda/consumerist mentality. I found her video funny and entertaining, and though one can hardly address all the reasons there aren’t more female libertarians in a two minute video, I think she made some valid but unpopular points about the tendencies of many (not all) women.
A familiar thread I find among many feminists
is the refusal to take criticism of women, which I believe is crucial for all
people to grow, and instead labeling anyone who disagrees with them a “slut
shamer.” This seems to be the go to attack on anyone these days who dares
express an opinion outside mainstream liberal feminism, but is a weak, knee
jerk reaction that seeks to invalidate all the points of a speaker via ad
hominem. I see carelessly throwing around the term “slut shamer” as
irresponsibly silencing opposition to some certain sacred cows feminism still foolishly
holds on to. While there is of course valid concern that the victimization of
women still takes place and is trivialized by several right wing men, Julie has
been unfairly thrown into this category by the feminists who fall on the much more
socially liberal side, and I find the lack of unity among women on this topic disheartening.
As a feminist myself, some of you ladies and men ought to be embarrassed at
your emotional attacks.
Julie’s main point is that we have to make
libertarianism more mainstream, and I think this is a point most libertarians
can agree on. She’s right, it’s not cool
to be a libertarian when the majority of people around you are statists, and
your philosophy is frequently attacked by the mainstream as being too cerebral
and not emphatic enough. Julie was appealing to the social conservatives in her
video which is a crucial group that must be won over if libertarians wish to be
successful at winning hearts and minds, and are indeed the target focus group
for many libertarians taking the approach of working within the system. She probably
comes from a more socially conservative background, but I don’t see that as an
issue because I have never seen her say in any of her videos that people should
be banned from certain behaviors because they violate the morality of certain
groups. In fact, I have only seen the opposite because that is a truly libertarian
position---to be able to disagree with someone’s behavior, but not seek to
prohibit them from doing it as long as they do not hurt you or others. However,
as a libertarian feminist coming from a very socialist socially liberal
background, I see a broader appeal that can be made to the left and found her
critiques of women refreshing if uncomfortable to acknowledge.
One of the main beefs seems to be with her
declaration that casual sex is not empowering. This is something that has been
weighing heavily on my mind for several years even before I became a
libertarian feminist, and I found that I completely agree. I am all for people
living their lives the way they choose, free from laws preventing them from
doing so, but to try to label a behavior as “empowering” when it is the
opposite is misinformed at best and dishonest at worst. A brief breakdown of
where I fall morally: I believe all drugs should be legalized, prostitution
should be legal, victimless crime laws should be abolished, end involuntary taxation,
end the wars, end the Fed, and the list goes on. I am very socially liberal,
but do not participate in behaviors I find counter-intuitive or damaging to my
health for the most part.
Casual sex is not liberating because the
consequences weaken a woman’s potentiality. It can result in unwanted pregnancy
and STD’s if proper measures are not taken, and relies on using (and sometimes
abusing) one’s body for a variety of goals not limited to career advancement,
social acceptance, conformity to prevalent social norms, and most often just
plain selfishness (nothing wrong with that). Let’s be honest, if you engage in
risky sexual behavior, I will not judge you for it, but let’s be real about
what it is and not try to make it the crowning achievement of women in the 21st
century. If women are struggling to not be seen as objects, then how does
objectifying our bodies by giving them away to just any guy crush those
stereotypes? Why can’t we use our brains to prove our self-worth, instead of
relying on the very thing that has been used against us by male dominated power
structures and some would argue even nature for thousands of years---our own
bodies?
Empowerment is about having the ability to do
something freely, but it also comes with a degree of self-responsibility for
your actions. Having a child that makes one dependent on the state is not
empowering, contracting a disease that makes one dependent on a doctor/medicine
is not empowering, demanding the state pay for your contraception and acting
like your actions stem from some form of liberation or enlightenment while
making you a prisoner of skewed social norms is not empowering. Now all these
criticisms do not apply to libertarian feminists, but even some libertarian
feminists hold antiquated views of a woman’s self-worth. Some feminists argue
that an archaic ideal of purity is what prevents women from being sexually
liberated, but we have been sexually “liberated” in this country for decades
now. When I say antiquated views, I am referring specifically to the so called liberation
of women stemming from the sexual revolution of the 1960’s. In our “liberation,”
I have found that many of us have become slaves to the very same meme that was
meant to set us free. I think our privilege as women in this country is
overlooked and underappreciated, and if you have to be educated in a college about
how oppressed you are maybe a perspective shift is in order.
Women have made huge leaps, and they came mostly
from an intellectual revolution beginning with the first wave feminists. The
prevailing social norm that promiscuity is acceptable and even sometimes
preferred comes from second wave feminism and is obvious anywhere you turn from
television and advertisements to classrooms and social events. Women are
increasingly pressured by their peers and advertising to give it up to fit in; to
be just as nasty as promiscuous men, and I experienced this pressure early on
intensely in both public middle and high school. I was laughed at and ridiculed
by girls for wanting to wait to have sex, not even necessarily until marriage, but
just until I felt ready. My position came not from some strong social conservative
upbringing (ha!), but because I had some respect for myself and wanted to be in
control of my body. My intellectual liberation was disparaged as I became stereotyped
as a bookish prude…so much for solidarity. Women such as Angelina Jolie, known
for seducing another woman’s husband are revered as “liberated” women by the
media and feminists, but a woman who has made great strides in the libertarian
movement is derided as a “slut shamer” when she dares to speak her opinion that
makes some women angry because it provokes self-reflection.
The lack of unity among women is distressing,
and even implying that women get disrespected by men because of their promiscuous
behavior is tantamount to heresy in some feminist circles. I want to see women
live up to their true intellectual potential, and not be held down or dismissed
because of their behavior. Yes, I understand the double standard between women
and men and sex and waahhhh it’s so not fair, but it exists as something we
have the power and intellect to overcome. No one group has a monopoly on what
feminism consists of or can exclude other women as not being feminist enough
because they are different.
I always found it ironic that some feminists
pride themselves on their crude, boisterous, promiscuous behavior that
resembles the men that they find repulsive and oppressive. If brutish, philandering
behavior is a criticism of men by feminists, why would a woman want to act like
that same boorish man? Shouldn’t we seek to be above that behavior, and retain
our self-worth so we can be an effective foil to an immoral, patriarchal
society? What about the young girls growing up and experiencing the pressure
from their peers and the media to act like a sex symbol? I fail to see how
succumbing to the very biological urge feminists criticize men for succumbing to
and using to exploit women is somehow honorable. Being edgy is not without
merit, but sometimes feminists just end up sounding and acting like fifteen
year old boys instead of intelligent ladies. Women are different from men in
some very positive ways, and there is a healthy balance between being a prude
and a slut. Being free from society’s pressures by finding that balance and
being respectful of how we treat our bodies is uplifting and liberating.
If libertarians want to gain broader
influence, we must target younger generations and be role models for young
women. The internet is exposing millions of young people to the ideas of
liberty and has created an environment where your actions are under a
microscope and anything you’ve ever written or produced can be easily found and
possibly used against you. I’m on no moral high horse because I have done my
share of foolish things, but if we are to differentiate ourselves from social
norms as women, we have to prove that we are intellectually and physically in
control over our bodies.
From any popular topic that is widely
discussed, it is obvious that declining morality is an issue, and I don’t mean
that in a right wing Puritanical way. From tacit acceptance of drone strikes to
widespread over-sexualization of children, American society is in bad shape,
and it is up to people to choose to act morally and influence younger
generations to do the same if we are to see a positive change and a blossoming
of self-reliance. For women, we need to acknowledge some harsh truths about our
nature or perhaps more so how our nature has been manipulated by a morally
bankrupt society. Feminists should embrace constructive criticism especially
when it comes from other women, and also accept that we are individuals with
differing views, but that those views don’t necessarily mean we aren’t on the
same team. If you are embarrassed to identify as a libertarian based on one
video, maybe you aren’t so libertarian after all. The variety of thinkers in
libertarianism should be one of its main selling points, and embraced as such. Does
sexism still exist in American society? Yes, and I have experienced poor
treatment by misogynists. I am not making a case that we have overcome it, but
in some ways we are holding ourselves back from our potential to be movers and
shakers when we refuse to face facts. We have to be honest about this to overcome
it, and Julie makes another excellent point about magazines directed towards
women. Why do some of us consume garbage that tells us in the limited text
(between advertisements for products we don’t need) that we are too ugly, too
fat, too poor, and this contributes to our terrible sex lives?
Woman, you are beautiful and sufficient with
the temple you were born with. You are smart enough and do not need the
acceptance of your peers to be successful. Quit listening to this anti-woman
propaganda that says you have to share your temple with every sucker that comes
along after you put on pounds of petroleum products and the most revealing
clothes you can find. There’s nothing wrong with looking good, but I think it
is more productive to let our brains do the talking and not our bodies lest we
fall victim to the objectification so many women are fighting against. All
women can be smart, classy, respectable, and free, and when it comes to
changing hearts and minds, having “some couth about yourself”* can go a long
way.
Instead of attacking another woman for not
being feminist enough, or anarchist enough, or masculine enough, or feminine
enough, let’s consider what we can learn from those we disagree with and
recognize that we truly are on the same team and have the same goals. I may
disagree with the feminists attacking Julie and even some of her views, but I
do not hate them; I want to collaborate with them. There is a lot of room for disagreement
in libertarian philosophy because it is founded on freedom, and as long as
freedom is the goal more can be gained from working together than infighting.
*Quote
attributed to fellow feminist and all around classy lady, Rachel Kisner, from a
discussion we had on this topic.
1 Comments in Response to "Woman, Have Some Couth About Yourself"
Very good outlook for my niece to have. Ever since my own daughters had reached maturity, I tried to impress them about having self respect being more important than 'Lady Purity'. It wouldn't hurt to tell men to 'Have Some Couth About '..Themselves as well. But most of us Dirty old men want our women to do things, we don't ever want our daughters doing...What a catch 22 that is.