In my 20s, I began to practise Tibetan Buddhism. I was still sorting myself out after a tumultuous youth, still healing from sexual assault and other abuse I'd experienced as a teenager. It felt auspicious to stumble into a community of people dedicated to self-cultivation through contemplative practice. I was inspired by a tradition that was centred around a deep and compassionate sense of intimacy with the world. And I remain grateful for the years of practice that helped me grow up and learn to meet the world with genuineness and clarity. Ten years later, the whole thing blew up. My Buddhist community was torn apart by a series of allegations of widespread, multifaceted abuse across generations. The most devastating of these allegations were against my guru, Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, who was credibly accused of sexual and other abuses going back decades. The community of dedicated, broken-hearted practitioners that surrounded my teacher ?" many of whom were like family to me