No, I'm not talking about illegal aliens — that is, those immigrants who are trying to enter the United States without official permission. I'm talking about real aliens — the scary types from outer space. You know, the ones that look like ET.

What other reasonable explanation could there be for those unidentified flying objects that the U.S. military has been shooting out of the skies over the northern United States? 

The Chinese? Nah, they've already lost one balloon to the U.S. military. They wouldn't be dumb enough to send more balloons, at least not so soon. 

The Russians? Nah, they're still too bogged down trying to conquer a portion of Ukraine. They don't have the time or the resources to send any balloons our way.

The North Koreans? Nah, they don't even have the money to buy a balloon.

The Cubans? Well, that's a possibility. Remember: According to the Pentagon and the CIA, Cuba is still a Red dagger pointed at America's neck. That's why the Pentagon still maintains and strictly enforces its brutal Cold War-era economic embargo against the Cuban people. 

But why would the Cuban communists care about attacking the United States? If they haven't stuck their Red dagger into our neck for more than 60 years, why do it now? Of course, it's true that they certainly might be spying on the U.S. to see if the Pentagon and the CIA have any more invasions or state-sponsored assassinations planned for Cuba. But why do it by sending a spy machine over Lake Huron instead of Miami?