Article Image You too can behave just like the government!

IPFS

New Freedom's Phoenix Product Available

Written by Subject: Federal Reserve
As seen on the Internet.
Freedom's Phoenix would like to announce its first hardware product:

Introducing the Freedom's Phoenix printer.

No longer will a select group of private businessmen have control over your money. Just like them, you too can start printing your own currency right from your own home or apartment.

Behold the Counterfeiter 4409:

c4409
Prints in either portrait or landscape mode.

stock number: FTHEFED

Pre-cuts paper to correct size.  And with our included software you can print $1, $2, $5, $10, $20, $50 and $100's to your heart's content.  Why go to a bank when you can simply print what you need on demand just like Mr. Paulson?

Mrs. Joan Galt Don't take our word, just read this testimonial:
 
We were going to lose our home.  This Counterfeiter 4409 bailed out our mortgage payments so quickly that when we receive the next print cartridge or two we should have paid off our house.  Thank you Freedom's Phoenix!" -- Mrs. Joan Galt, Hardyville, MT

This can be used by the whole family.  Your children can get a great educational experience as they use the Counterfeiter 4409 to print up trillions in cash just like a real Congressman or Federal Reserve Board member does. 

And with the Counterfeiter 4409 you and your family will know that just like the government you can never run out of cash.

So pay off those credit cards, pay off that car, help restore faith in our national economy by buying more homes, cars, yachts and land than you could possibly use in a lifetime of avarice.
 
You have the quality assurance of our hired experts who inspect every printer for accuracy in printing as much FIAT currency as you demand.  Don't be confused by those cheap imitation Gold or Silver Certificates.  This printer spits out currency just as real as FIAT currency can get backed by the full faith and credit of the Counterfeiter 4409.  If you are not completely satisfied just go back to using those old Federal Reserve Notes.

But wait that is not all, with our software upgrades you can print other country's currencies too, and as $500, $1,000 and $5,000 dollar bills are soon desperately brought back into circulation we will update the software so you can print those too.
 
And for those times when you are on the road, don't look for an ATM when you can use our portable Counterfeiter Mini printer for gasoline and grocery purchases or the occasional hooker.
 
Celebrity endorsement completely unintended 
stock number: FEDNDARED

For this limited time only, you need no money.  Simply order the Counterfeiter 4409 printer with included print cartridges, special paper and software for only $110,000,000.04 by calling (800) 227-4133 and ask for Ben.  Then when you unwrap this fine printer simply print up what you owe us and send it to:

Counterfeiter 4409
(c/o Mr. Bernanke)
P.O. Box 7702
San Francisco, CA


Respond before November 4th and receive the Counterfeiter Mini printer free, and a complete set of replacement printer cartridges with no obligation to pay its $700,000,000,000 price tag...ever.  Someone else can pay it off for you for $850,000,000,000.  We know this seems like a staggering amount of money, but not so with the Counterfeiter 4409.  Spending any quantity of money will never bother you again.
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