RFK Endorses Trump

Frustrated by what he termed "the Democratic Party's efforts to dismantle democracy," Robert f. Kennedy Jr. announced that he is "urging voters in the battle ground states to vote for former President Trump. The election of Vice-President Kamala Harris would be a calamity for real democracy and our country."

"In the effort to ensure a second term for Biden the Democratic Party blocked my efforts to enter the primaries and make my case for needed change," RFK pointed out. "Once Biden secured enough delegates to win the nomination he challenged the likely Republican nominee Donald Trump to a debate. Biden's performance at this debate clearly demonstrated that his dementia made him unfit to govern. Rather than allow an open debate and a contest for others to win the nomination, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) decided to install Harris as the nominee without giving Democrat voters any say in the matter."

"After keeping me out of the Democratic primaries, the DNC has fought hard to prevent my independent run for the presidency by trying to keep me off the general election ballot by filing expensive lawsuits against to drain my campaign resources," RFK complained. "It isn't just me they're trying to keep off the ballot. They've also targeted Cornel West, Marianne Williamson, and Jill Stein. And while the DNC can't keep the Republican nominee off the ballot they are using government resources to prosecute him, tie him up in court, consume his resources, and smear his reputation."

"Three great causes drove me to enter this race: free speech, the war in Ukraine, and the health of America's children," RFK asserted. "Because the Democratic Party is on the opposite side of each of these causes I first decided to run as an independent, and now to throw my support to President Trump. Trump and I both support these causes. Harris doesn't support any of them."

Harris/Walz campaign spokesman Michael Tyler acknowledged that "yes, Mr. Kennedy raised these same issues with us. They didn't resonate with Vice-President Harris because she believes that unity and joy are the overriding issues of her campaign. Rather than unite in a common effort to defeat the pandemic, Mr. Kennedy openly criticized the effort to get everyone vaccinated. He called the vaccines dangerous and ineffective. Harris wants to win the Ukraine war, not end it. RFK's abuse of free speech, opposition to the war, and spreading misinformation endangering the public health put him outside the progressive paradigm of the newly revitalized Democratic Party that Harris will lead to victory in November. It's a pity that his lunatic views have led him to join Trump's doomed campaign."

"She Failed as Vice-President"

President Joe Biden's former chief of staff Ron Klain acknowledged in an interview with the New York Times that "we were all united behind the idea she should be successful. But it just didn't happen. Basically, she failed as vice-president."

Jeffrey Zients, Biden's current chief if staff, who was co-chair of the Biden-Harris transition team, said "when I started running the transition, the president's first directive to me was the vice president must be involved in every decision that hits his desk, from start to finish. So, she was in the loop, but had nothing helpful to offer on any issue. I think it's a question of loyalty and dedication and focus on the mission."

Conservative radio host Clay Travis was shocked, saying "Wow, Joe Biden's former chief of staff said Kamala Harris wasn't a successful vice-president. Seems like kind of a big story. I wonder if it will get much play in the mainstream media."

The Harris/Walz Campaign manager Julie Chávez-Rodríguez blamed "the failure on the 90% turnover rate of Harris' staff during her term as vice-president. Instead of loyally and competently assisting her in the completion of her duties they kept quitting or had to be fired. Combined with the 'no win' assignments she was given and Biden's habit of shifting blame and bawling out his subordinates she had no chance of succeeding."

Chávez-Rodríguez asserted that "Kamala's emergence from the straight jacket Biden put on her is the big story. Now that she can no longer be painted as a scapegoat for the blunders and malevolence that characterized the last four years under Biden she is free to be her own person. People can see she is a beautiful woman with a joyous temperament that will rescue the Democratic Party from the drubbing it would have received if Biden was the nominee. Those who want to find out more about her plans for America can find them at... https://kamala2024policies.com."

In related news, Jamal Trulovem, a Black man wrongly convicted for a crime he didn't commit when Kamala Harris was state District Attorney for San Francisco, disparaged TV ads touting her as an enforcer of law-and-order, saying "when I was sentenced to 50 years in prison she just laughed and laughed. I don't see how anyone who wants real justice could vote for her."

Trulovem was vindicated on appeal and awarded $13 million in damages. Law professor Lara Bazelon, who formerly directed the Loyola Law School Project for the Innocent in Los Angeles, said "District Attorney Harris repeatedly fought tooth and nail to uphold wrongful convictions that had been secured through official misconduct that included evidence tampering, false testimony, and the suppression of crucial information by prosecutors."

Dem Poses Hypothetical Abortion Scenario

Gov. Andy Beshear (D-Ky) made the case for a nationwide, anytime, anywhere right to a publicly funded abortion by posing a hypothetical scenario for Republican vice-presidential nominee Sen. JD Vance (Ohio). "Let's imagine for a moment that Senator Vance's wife is raped and impregnated by a criminal who illegally entered the country through our porous southern border," Beshear posited. "Wouldn't the Senator want his wife to have the option to abort that child?"

Vance pointed out that "the Democrats want to impose their extreme abortion position on every state in the union. The US Supreme Court wisely recognized that there is no united view on the abortion issue and struck down 1973's Roe v. Wade's unconstitutional creation of a nationwide right to abortion. Since there is nothing in the Constitution granting the federal government authority over abortion it is a power reserved to the states by the Tenth Amendment."

"Look, only a tiny percentage of pregnancies are the result of rape," Vance said. "Most of the states that have sought to limit abortions make exceptions for rape and incest, but even if some states don't allow this exception there will be others like New York and California that will allow abortions on demand. Women who feel the need to terminate the life of their baby will be able to get to a state that will accommodate them. Organizations that support this deadly option can raise funds and assist these women to accomplish this goal."

Beshear objected, saying "no woman should have to seek reproductive medical care in another state. Nor should she have to raise funds to pay for it herself or rely on charity. It is the federal government's obligation to ensure that every doctor, nurse, clinic, and hospital in the nation provides this critically needed service and to fund it. The Harris/Walz ticket will make this happen if they win in November."

Meanwhile, Democratic vice-presidential nominee Minnesota Governor Tim Walz confirmed Beshear's interpretation of the Harris/Walz ticket's intentions, saying "no one has the right to deny any woman's decision to terminate her pregnancy--not the father, not the church, and not the government. As for the so-called baby's right to life, as Kramer so sagely pointed out in a gripping episode of Seinfeld, 'it's not a pizza until it comes out of the oven.' The same holds true on this issue. It's not a baby until it comes out of the womb. Until then it has no rights we are bound to respect."

Michelle Obama Rails Against Greed

At the Democrat Convention this week, former First Lady Michelle Obama warned voters that "you should be suspicious of those who take more than they need." Former Special Advisor for Green Jobs during the Obama Administration Van Jones called her words "a masterful act of leadership, it was a sacred task. I didn't realize I had been in a spiritual desert until Michelle and Barack created that oasis on that stage."

While Michelle was pointing the finger at Trump who, with a net worth of $4.3 billion, presumably has more than he needs--something that a new Harris/Walz administration is eager to remedy, couldn't the same complaint be made about the Obamas? They have an estimated net worth of around $70 million. They own three houses--one of them a seven bedroom and nine bathroom villa at Martha's Vineyard with an estimated value of $20 million. Do they really need this much?

To make a distinction between her needs and Trump's needs, Michelle called attention to "the way we made our money. We earned it by working in the public sector. As president, Barack provided priceless leadership. Now we're living off of book, podcast and Netflix deals. It will never be enough to fully compensate us for the sacrifices we have made for this country. In contrast, Trump inherited millions and built it into billions by taking advantage of the free market. Such ignoble and greedy money-grubbing strikes many people as unfair and excessively rewarded. This election will decide whether this kind of money-grubbing should be replaced by a fairer redistribution based on real need."

Trump questioned whether "the confiscatory taxes and price controls that the Democrats favor would really be fairer. Communists use these policies that destroy the incentive to invest, innovate, work, and promote products and services that meet customers' needs. The result of communism has always been poverty and oppression. What's unfair in America is politicians using their positions of power to enrich themselves at taxpayer expense. Whether it be Nancy Pelosi's insider stock trades or Joe Biden's influence peddling--they produce nothing of value for the taxpayers who pay their salaries. The one thing I agree with is Michelle's prediction that this election will decide whether voters choose freedom or communism."

In related news, it turns out that many of those whose student debts were illegally canceled by President Biden have piled up other debt since. A study by Constantine Yannelis, an associate professor of finance at the University of Chicago, found that auto loans, credit card borrowing, and home loans have soared. One beneficiary of the debt cancellation expressed optimism, saying "if the government can cancel our student debt, they can also cancel our consumer debt. If they don't we'll go bankrupt and the economy will crash. So, I think it's a safe bet that they'll eventually cancel my new debt."

Barack Obama Says Republicans Aren't Generous

Also at the Democrat Convention this week, former President Barack Obama claimed that "unlike Democrats, Republicans believe that generosity is for suckers. They believe it's okay to take what you want. They don't care about the less fortunate or the needs of others. As Democrats our job is to convince people that democracy can actually deliver. We can't just rely on the ideas of the past. We need to chart a new way forward to meet the challenges of today."

Like so many of the things he has said since he's been in politics, the claim that Republicans aren't generous is false. The statistics collected by Philanthropy Roundtable show that Republicans were identified as the "heaviest" givers, which amount to $5,000 or more per year. Twelve percent of Republicans fell in that category, compared to 4% of Democrats and 3% of independents.

Republicans were also identified as the most "heavy" givers, which includes giving anywhere from $1,000-$5,000 per year. Nineteen percent of Republicans fell under that category, compared to jut 13% of Democrats and 17% of independents. Democrats were the champions of "light" giving — $0-$99 per year, as 35% fell into that category, compared to 29% of independents and 19% of Republicans. Individual conservative donors — even with less income than self-described liberals — give 30% more than their left-wing counterparts.

Obama pointed out that "those are all voluntary donations completely at the discretion of each individual. Philanthropy Roundtable fails to credit Democrats for voting to spend the money collected from taxpayers on worthy causes. These involuntary donations are in the trillions and easily dwarf the modest amounts that individuals give out of their own pockets. In contrast, Republicans in Congress and the voting booth typically oppose these expenditures. So, I think in terms of results achieved Democrats have done more to ensure that everyone gives their fair share, willing or not."

Field Test of Insect Consumption Misfires

When some attending the Democrat Convention in Chicago found maggots and crickets in their breakfasts their first instinct was to call the FBI. The FBI is currently trying to figure out how this happened. Director Christopher Wray said "domestic right-wing terrorists, MAGA people are at the top of our suspect list. We are currently searching through Trump's recent speeches to try to ascertain what code words he used to instigate his followers to do the deed."

Others suggested that protesters opposed to the Israeli invasion of Gaza that have been protesting outside the Democratic convention might be responsible. Maggots were found at the Watergate Hotel in Washington where the visiting delegation of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was staying last month. Perhaps this is their doing.

It wasn't until today when Antoine Hubert of the World Economic Forum confessed that "the incident stemmed from a surprise field test of our campaign to persuade people to switch away from the traditional farmed beef, pork, and chicken that dominates the American diet. These forms of protein are expensive to produce and worsen the environment. Insects are cheaper to produce and have minimal impact on the environment."

"The response to our statistical approach and appeal for people to make sacrifices to save the planet hasn't made much headway," Hubert lamented. "In desperation, we thought that perhaps a covert operation that simply put insects on people's plates at hotels where the meals are included in the stay might succeed. People might just eat them and discover that they aren't as bad as they think. We didn't mean to cause a ruckus. I guess we'll have to move on to Plan C."