Media React to Abe Assassination

National Public Radio (NPR), the propaganda arm of the progressive Biden Regime in America, hailed the assassination of former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, calling it "a more focused defense of democracy than we saw from Robert Crimo III at a 4th of July parade in Highland Park, Illinois earlier in the week. With a precision not seen since the Dec 7, 1941 attack on Pearl Harbor, a Japanese patriot skillfully eliminated a divisive right-wing zealot as he was speaking at a campaign rally."

This initial tweet was later deleted by NPR, but not without an expression of regret "for opportunities lost in our country. America's most infamous right-wing zealot has attended numerous campaign rallies and emerged unscathed time-after-time. Another less-protected right-wing Supreme Court Justice narrowly escaped an angry mob while dining at Morton's restaurant in Washington, DC. We can only hope that the fate of Mr. Abe will inspire our own domestic enemies to give up their quest to destroy the accomplishments of the progressive democracy being constructed for this country by President Biden and the Democratic Party."

CBS News also blamed Abe for his own demise, calling him "a polarizing right-wing nationalist with controversial views." One of Abe's so-called "controversial views" was his opposition to China's threat to invade Taiwan—a position that China says impedes its right to acquire this territory by "mostly peaceful intimidation. Our military might is far beyond anything the illegitimate Taiwanese government can mount. Any hope they may have of US aid must surely be dissipated by the recent export of oil to us from their Strategic Petroleum Reserve."

US Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm called the oil exports to China "good for our economy and good for world peace. The brokering of this deal by the President's son Hunter is just one more in a long chain of business dealings that have enabled him to become a self-made millionaire over the last decade. His sterling demonstration of enterprise is an inspiration to all Americans. Hunter's generous sharing of his profits with the President is proof of the economic boom that the President's policies have wrought for all Americans. As for world peace, it was the eminent strategist and philosopher Osama bin Laden who pointed out that choosing the stronger horse is the wisest course. Is there any question as to which is the stronger horse between China and Taiwan? Not only is China the stronger horse it is also more clearly aligned with us ideologically. Both China and we are people's democratic republics. Taiwan is not."

Biden Economy Strongest Ever

White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre fended off criticisms from Fox News' Peter Doocy and the Heritage Foundation's John Cooper that runaway inflation is hurting the economy. Cooper pointed out that "inflation is at a 40-year high, gas prices are averaging $5 a gallon nationwide, we still haven't gotten back all the jobs we lost from the pandemic, and wages aren't keeping pace with inflation." Doocy suggested that "do you think it's possible that your plan to raise the cost of living just is not popular with the American people right now?"

The Press Secretary called these objections "evidence of the shallow thinking that dominates among those who don't understand  progressive economics. The simplistic view is that inflation hurts the average American, but does it really? The biggest debtor in America is the federal government. Who is responsible for repaying this debt? The American taxpayer. Inflation reduces the real burden of repaying debt. This benefits the taxpayers."

"In contrast, who benefits from the absence of inflation?" she rhetorically asked. "It's people who have savings accounts. Why do people save money? It's because they don't trust their government to take care of them. Such mistrust is divisive. The insidious erosion of the value of savings via inflation ensures the gradual shift of wealth away from people who mistrust the government and into the hands of those who have total faith in their government."

"No previous administration in our country's history has so clearly aligned economic policy to punish the disloyal while simultaneously relieving the faithful of the onerous burdens of debt repayment," Jean-Pierre asserted. "We are freeing Americans from the slavery of freedom. The oppressive notions of self-reliance will be swept away by a new freedom of total dependence on the social distribution of the nation's wealth. Each and every person will receive exactly what the social good says they should have. The struggle for success will be replaced by total confidence in the benevolent care dispensed to all by their progressive rulers."

Biden Mandates Abortions

Citing the precedent established by his executive order mandating covid vaccinations as a condition of being allowed to hold a job, President Biden solved the problem of inadequate access to abortions by issuing a mandate requiring all states receiving any federal money to provide free abortions to whoever wants them.

The President pointed out that "this much more lenient mandate actually expands people's rights in a way that the vaccine mandate did not. With the vaccine mandate everyone who wanted to keep their job was required to take the vaccine injections. Right now, my abortion mandate allows those who don't want abortions to still keep their jobs."

Recognizing that "the enabling aspect of my abortion mandate may still face substantial anti-abortion social pressure in backward sectors of our country, I am also authorizing the FBI to mount rescue missions to covertly collect and transport shy abortion seekers to locations where safe abortions can be performed. To help guard these courageous birthing-persons from possible retaliation all will be enrolled in the 'witness protection program' that has previously saved the lives of organized crime figures who testified against gang leaders targeted by the Department of Justice."

To the dismay of some abortion proponents, the establishment of experimental abortion vending machines in all US Post Offices has been tabled for now. Secretary of Health and Human Services Xavier Becerra observed that "while the technology incorporating a blend of robot surgeons and video tutorials for those ready for a do-it-yourself abortion is impressive, we have not yet been able to secure a workable agreement with the Postal Employees Union. As many may recall, this same union prevented the extension of the covid vaccine mandate to include the employees they represent."

Ex-NYC Mayor "Cooked Books"

News that former New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio used accounting gimmicks to conceal more that $200 million in losses on the City's ferry system resulted in a vigorous protest against suspicion that corruption was involved. DeBlasio insisted that "the cover-up was innocent. There was no corruption on my part. I received no kick-backs or remuneration of any kind. It was just your typical run-of-the-mill government waste and mismanagement of the kind we regularly see with all of our public transportation systems."

The former Mayor explained that "the creative bookkeeping was purely a defense mechanism. For one, I was running for president during 2019 and the early part of 2020. For two, there isn't a Democrat in the country who wouldn't have done exactly the same thing. Federal funds, state funds, and local funds have been squandered on public transportation for decades. Every accounting trick in the book has been used over-and-over everywhere in the country. Public funds are there for public use. No public figure—no mayor, governor, senator, or congressman has been called to answer for how any of this money has been spent. Why should I be singled out?"

DeBlasio reminded everyone that "the ferries cater to a richer clientele than the subways and buses. These travelers are making their daily commutes to the banks, brokerages, and corporate headquarters where they work. The frequency of stabbings, shootings, and rapes on the ferries is much lower than on other public transit. Why aren't people commending me for that?"

Canadian Tyrant Targets Free Speech

Concerned that "unauthorized political speech constitutes a kind of pollution that erodes the foundations of democracy," Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is seeking legislation that would introduce strict government regulation of what can be said about government policies in public forums.

"Many of those, particularly on the political right, aren't really qualified to comment on what the government does," the Prime Minister asserted. "As a result voters can easily be misled by enemies of the state to oppose policies that are for their own good. I feel strongly that it is my responsibility as the elected leader of this country to head-off these malefactors before they can do the damage that they are intent on doing."

Under Trudeau's vision, existing authorized publishers of newspapers and magazines would be required to reject letters, op eds, or other content that does not have prior clearance from government regulators. Meanwhile, unauthorized publishers would be kept under constant surveillance to detect attempts to post unapproved views and be subject to immediate censorship, seizure, or sabotage—whichever government enforcers deem most appropriate for ensuring that bad ideas do not pollute the conversation about public policy.

The Disinformation Governance Board (DGB) within the United States Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is said to be observing how Canada's efforts to control political discourse fare. Earlier this year the DGB was "paused" due to vociferous objections concerning its potential infringement on freedom of speech—objections that DGB's potential censorer-in-chief Nina Jankowicz characterized as "a disservice to the country. Canada's initiative is unencumbered by a bill of rights in their country. We'll see how things work out up there and figure out if there's a path forward here. Maybe if Democrats win the mid-terms elections there will be a perceived popular mandate for sensible censorship like they're doing in Canada."

Guns Laws Failed to Stop July 4th Shooting

After all the hoopla attending the moderate Republican acquiescence to Democrats' demands for Congressional action to thwart mass shootings, it turns out that Illinois—site of a seven-victim murder spree by Robert Crimo III on July 4th—already has the "assault weapons" ban and "red flag" laws that were so ostentatiously added in this "compromise legislation."

Notwithstanding the fact that Illinois state law and Highland Park city ordinances are intended to bar dangerous people from obtaining and using assault weapons for mass murders, Crimo was able to legally buy an assault rifle. This was despite having several police visits to his home in the last few years over complaints that he threatened to kill himself and his whole family.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) admitted that "the facts of the Crimo case make us look like idiots. The states that already have strict gun controls aren't really doing any better at reducing gun violence than the states that have constitutional carry rules. Luckily for us, hardly anyone knows this and the media aren't going to call us on it. The most important thing isn't the failure of gun controls to stop murders, it's that our reputation as caring moderates has been preserved."

Feds Aware of Pfizer Fraud

It turns out that the clinical trials for Pfizer's covid vaccine were fraudulent. A whistleblower filed a lawsuit pointing this out. Pfizer has asked that the lawsuit be dismissed because "the FDA was fully aware of the fraud, but made no objection. In fact, the federal government went on to buy multiple billions of dollars worth of Pfizer vaccines. These payments prove that the government was fully satisfied by our vaccine, clinical trials to the contrary notwithstanding."

Robert Barnes, attorney for the whistle-blowing plaintiff, called Pfizer's argument "astounding. The vaccine in question was injected into hundreds of millions of people. These people had a right to expect that the government regulators would act in their behalf to try to ensure that a safe and effective product would be produced. It now turns out that the government regulators failed to do this. Now Pfizer is saying that the recipients of the fraudulently approved vaccine have no recourse because the government's failure to do its job absolves Pfizer of all responsibility."

Dr. Anthony Fauci sided with Pfizer, saying that "without full absolution from any harm caused by the vaccine there would have been no vaccine at all. There wasn't time to fully test the vaccine before mandating that millions be vaccinated. The FDA had to give approval for emergency use in order to block widespread use of unpatentable anti-virals like hydroxychloroquine and ivermectin. I shudder to think of what the last two years would've been like without the vaccines. While the reported number of adverse events subsequent to inoculation exceeded that for any previously approved vaccine there is no proof that the vaccines caused these adverse events. Any admission of fraud at this late date could lead to a chaos too severe to contemplate."

In related news, the rollout of booster doses of COVID-19 vaccines has been linked to rising excess mortality in New Zealand. The age groups most likely to use boosters had 7-10 percentage point rises in excess mortality rates. In view of these figures combined with the CDC's acknowledgment that those who have been vaccinated for covid are both more likely to contract the disease and to die from it, the rationale for plowing ahead with more vaccinations and boosters seems ill-advised.