Dems React to Pending Court Reversal of Abortion Decision

An unprecedented leak of a coming Supreme Court ruling overturning the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision making abortion the law of the land has sparked a spate of panic and crazy talk from leading Democrat luminaries. The opinion written by Justice Alito says the 1973 Court overstepped its bounds and violated the Tenth Amendment's reservation of powers not explicitly granted to the federal government to the states. Going forward, whether abortions shall be permitted, banned, or regulated will be determined by each state's own laws.

Former President Obama called the reversal "a blow to all who believe in a free society. Nothing is more fundamental than the decision whether to allow an entity that shares your genes to live or die. Advances in medical science have enabled the extermination of unwanted beings to be accomplished in a safe and sanitary manner before birth—making it possible for even the most squeamish to eliminate the unwanted burden of parenthood. The freedom to have this option must be defended."

Current President Biden asserted that "the right to abort an unwanted child is simply a matter of basic fairness. The states should not be allowed to infringe on this right by placing unnecessary restrictions on the procedure. Unity requires that there be one overriding law that protects the right to an abortion, not a patchwork quilt of 50 different state laws. Just because a person lives in a state where a majority of the voters disapprove of abortion shouldn't mean that a woman must be forced to let her unborn child live. As President I represent the supreme law of the land and, if need be, will order the establishment of nationwide universal abortion rights."

Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY) and Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) issued a joint statement calling the Alito opinion "an abomination. Regardless of whether or not the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision was based on sound constitutional grounds, the fact is we've become accustomed to a widely available option to efficiently dispose of unwanted additions to our population. The shock-wave that will come from eliminating surgical extermination of unneeded people will set our society back 50 years." Both promised to introduce legislation that would "make government-funded abortions the law of the land."

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said "the undoing of the universal right to an abortion established by Roe v. Wade is a dark and dangerous turn in our nation's history. Essentially, it would reimpose the slavery that was repealed by the 15th Amendment on all the Black women who will no longer be able to escape the burdens of unwanted motherhood by aborting their pregnancies. The civic benefits of culling millions of potentially socially disruptive Black babies that we enjoyed between 1973 and today would be lost. It would be an utter disgrace."

Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) vowed "a fight to the death to protect people who want abortions. Come November, the majority of Americans who support universal access to abortion will give the pro-lifers a beating that will dwarf the landslide win Biden had over Trump in 2020."

American Extremists

This week, President Biden denounced Trump supporters as "the worst extremists in our country's history." Inasmuch as the Klu Klux Klan terrorized blacks for decades—murdering and lynching them—and Antifa has been instigating riots that have caused billions of dollars in damage and dozens of deaths of innocent bystanders over the last few years, Biden's judgment raised some eyebrows.

Press Secretary Jen Psaki explained the President's thoughts on the topic, emphasizing that "scope of impact is an important determinant. While no specific deaths or destruction can be clearly attributed to Trump supporters as a group, they were able to seize control the US government in the 2016 election. This is something that neither the Klan nor Antifa has ever accomplished. By this measure alone, the MAGA crowd is the bigger threat to American democracy."

The President himself augmented Psaki's remarks by reminding that "some Klan members like former Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) were respected leaders of the Democratic Party who made significant contributions to major legislation. So, being in the Klan by itself shouldn't be considered totally bad. And Antifa, despite its violent methods is solidly on the progressive side of today's ideological spectrum. This is the right side of history. So, I cut them some slack for occasional excess exuberance."

A recent Rasmussen poll, however, suggests that Trump supporters are closer to the "mainstream" than Biden imagines. In a hypothetical Biden/Trump 2024 election match-up, voters opt for Trump by a 50% to 36% margin over Biden. According to Biden, "these results are misleading because in a true democracy anti-democratic opinions carry no weight. When the actual ballots are counted in 2024 I will come out ahead just as I did in 2020."

In related news, Democratic strategist James Carville lamented that "the 50-36 split just shows that the average voter doesn't understand how good the economy is under Biden. From a personal perspective, soaring prices, supply shortages, and lagging paychecks make it difficult for the average person to see how the economy is benefiting from the President's policies. For example, American pharmaceutical companies like Pfizer are seeing record profits from the manufacture and sale of covid vaccines. This wouldn't have been possible without the mandates and subsidies the President rammed through. Likewise, solar-panel manufacturers and wind-turbine businesses are doing great. If voters would stop selfishly thinking of themselves they'd realize how much the Democrats have done for the most important segments of the economy."

Mandatory Vaccination for Migrants Cancelled

After a brief show of treating illegal immigrants the same as Americans, the Biden Administration has abandoned its policy of mandatory covid vaccinations. "We tried telling them that they wouldn't be able to go anywhere in the United States without proof of vaccination, but the vast majority still refused to be injected," said a Border Patrol official. "The practical thing is we have no leverage over them. We can't threaten their jobs because they have no jobs. We can't threaten to send them back because the President doesn't want them sent back. All we can do is put them on buses or planes and send them somewhere else."

Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas hastened to clarify that "it isn't just the practical difficulties that led to our course correction. There are also equity considerations. These people aren't American citizens. Who are we to boss them around and deny them free choices? One of the reasons they entered this country is to be free. The applicability of mandates like the one President Biden issued for all employers with more than 100 workers is questionable. Coercing citizens is a recognized authority of the President. Coercing foreigners is not. To be on the safe side and avoid being liable for damages it is best to just let them go where they want and do whatever they want."

In related news, Mayorkas insisted that "the newly created Disinformation Governance Board will not infringe legitimate freedom of speech. There are clear boundaries between disinformation and genuine freedom of speech. Disinformation is speech that intends and attempts to discredit or oppose government policies and actions. Speech that intends or attempts to support government policies and actions is not disinformation and will not draw any punitive response from the Board against any person engaging in the activity."

Ability to Laugh at Others Shows Mental Fitness

Joy Behar told her co-hosts on ABC's "The View" that President Biden's ability to laugh at White House Correspondents Dinner host Trevor Noah's jokes about people suffering from inflation "proves his mental fitness. It wasn't like he was all confused or anything. He was laughing right along with everyone else."

"When you think of it, though, what's so bad about not being able to afford to put gas in your car or meat on your dinner table?" she added. "Wouldn't all of our lives be better if we drove or ate less? If the President's policies have prompted these healthier outcomes isn't that a good thing? Well, it's certainly not a thing that Trump ever would have tried to force on the American people. That's the key difference between Trump's appeal to petty selfishness and Biden's appeal to collective betterment through shared suffering."