Georgia Ballot Box Stuffing

Surveillance videos of ballot drop boxes in Georgia captured evidence of tens of thousands of ballots being dumped into these boxes by a cadre of 240 political activists. These drop boxes are intended for individual voter use. While persons are allowed to deliver the ballots of immediate family members into these boxes, ballot harvesting is illegal in Georgia.

Former gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams defended these vote dumps, calling the video evidence "racist. Since when is recovering uncast ballots, filling them in, and putting them in the drop boxes a bad thing. It was because of this extraordinary extra effort that Georgia was able to hit new heights in ballots cast in the 2020 election. That was a good thing."

Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger urged that "we not jump to the conclusion that there was any skullduggery involved in these midnight ballot deposits. I've already certified that the election was the most secure ever accomplished in our state. Just because a persons deposits hundreds of ballots at at time doesn't change my initial assessment. There are lots of large families in Georgia and we cannot definitely say that these ballots weren't all deposited by immediate family members."

McAuliffe Pans Youngkin's COVID Stance

Former Gov. Terry McAuliffe, the Democratic candidate for Virginia governor, sharply criticized Republican opponent Glenn Youngkin, saying that "like Trump, he refuses to support vaccine and mask mandates. He wants to preserve the right of people to decide for themselves whether to wear a mask or get vaccinated."

Youngkin didn't deny McAuliffe's accusations, saying "I personally am vaccinated. I recommend that others get vaccinated. But I draw the line at ordering people to take a medicine that they don't want to take. One of things that makes America great is the freedom to choose. It is the job of every elected official to preserve that freedom. It's what I will do if elected governor."

McAuliffe pounced on "Youngkin's admission of irresponsibility. Most intelligent people recognize that the whole purpose of government is to ensure the health and safety of the population. This, of necessity, includes requiring everyone to do the things that the government determines they need to do to accomplish this objective. Voters can count on me to mandate vaccinations, masks, passports, lockdowns—whatever I deem would be best for everyone under my jurisdiction."

In related news, after a study testing 1.4 million blood samples, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) now estimates that 80% of Americans 16 and older now have antibodies to COVID. These antibodies were acquired thru vaccination or prior infection. The conclusions drawn from this study are (1) the risk of fatality from COVID is probably half that reported thus far and (2) we are probably very close to "herd immunity."

Australia Opts for Orwellian Surveillance

Concerned that "too may people are not doing as they are told," the Victoria state government in Southern Australia is requiring that everyone download a smart phone app that combines facial recognition and geolocation and use this app to respond to government inquiries regarding their whereabouts. The protocol will be that after receiving a text from the government, the targeted individual will need to respond within 15 minutes with a photograph that proves their identity and location. If the individual fails to respond or the photograph does not clearly prove they are where they are "supposed to be" police will be dispatched to investigate.

Victoria's Premier Daniel Andrews says "we got the idea from a book by George Orwell. Although this book was published more than seventy years ago we found it to be eerily prescient regarding our current situation with COVID. We've ordered people to stay in their homes and only given them permission to leave for the purpose of obtaining food, medical care, or work. Yet, a distressing number can still be observed outside and not engaged in the permitted activities. Outdoor surveillance cameras and neighborhood tattletales are proving inadequate. This app introduces a manditory self-reporting element that we hope can more thoroughly curtail disobedience."

Andrews rebuffed criticism of his "police-state tactics" calling the critics "irresponsible naysayers. I'm trying to save lives. Now is not the time for anyone to yammer about so-called human rights."

Meanwhile in the United States, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) endorsed compulsory vaccination. Spokesman Bertram Petty explained that "only by forcing people to follow the directives that the government has declared are necessary to protect their health can we achieve the liberties that our government allows us to have."

NYC to Eliminate "Honor Roll"

Mayor Bill de Blasio's Department of Education is planning to get rid of schools' honor rolls. "By extolling excellence we harm the psyches of the other students," the Mayor complained. "Not everyone has the ability to excel or even pass the classes our schools offer. When these less able students see peers praised for outdoing them they can't help but feel somehow diminished. Considering the racial composition of those who make the honor roll compared to those who don't, the whole scheme looks racist."

De Blasio complained that "the very practice of acknowledging accomplishment is inherently inequitable. By doing it in our schools we enforce the idea that a person who invents a new product or starts a profitable business is in some way a more valuable member of society than a person who lives on welfare or turns to crime as a way of life. If we want to end the notion that some people are better than others we need to start by ending the practice of rewarding those who master the subjects we teach in our schools."

As a substitute for honoring high achievers the Mayor urged that "we honor students for their efforts. A mentally challenged student who manages to come to class more or less regularly is more worthy of praise than a gifted student who easily grasps academic knowledge. Grading should be modified to reflect this socially progressive reality."

San Fran to Pay Criminals to Not Shoot People

Starting this October the City of San Francisco will pay criminals $300 per month for each person they don't shoot. The program is called the "Dream Keeper Fellowship." Executive director of the Human Rights Commission Sheryl Davis said "in addition to the bounty for not killing people, street gang members will be paired with newly hired life coaches from the Street Violence Intervention Program, known as SVIP, who will help the them make the right choices and access services."

"The program will be funded by diverting funding from the police," Mayor London Breed said. "We decided that rather than trying to scare or forcibly restrain these young men from killing each other we should offer them monetary incentives to do the right thing. I know that $300 is not a lot of money in our city, but when you combine this with our decriminalization of shoplifting and the outlawing of rent, a person can have a comfortable life without being forced to take a job."

Area resident and Speaker of the US House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi (D) called the program "a model of how life could be changed for the better under a more progressive governance. The conservative delusion that work must precede consumption has been disproved. The federal government has the authority to create a quantity of money sufficient to meet the needs of an unlimited number of people. When we add in the money saved from discontinuing expenditures for law enforcement, national defense, border control and other unnecessary programs we can afford an idyllic era of indolence that will unchain the aspirations of every man, woman and child that chooses to make America their home."

Pfizer Announces "Covicure"

Fresh off its triumph of getting the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) to approve its comirnaty vaccine, Pfizer has announced its success in developing a cure for COVID.

Company spokesman Brad Lyman explained "while we have every confidence that comirnaty will prove invincible against the coronavirus we acknowledge that it may not be possible to vaccinate everyone as often as is needed to maintain immunity. Not wanting to leave the world without a back-up plan, we developed covicure. This oral medication comes in two versions covicure-H and covicure-I."

"Both of these drugs contain a proprietary blend of vitamins B, C & D, zinc, lactoferrin, melatonin, N-acetyl cysteine (NAC), quercetin, and an alternate secret ingredient—one called 'H' and the other called 'I,'" Lyman said. "Numerous trials of these substances over the past year-and-a-half have demonstrated a very high success rate against the virus. We're now taking the next logical step of patenting our special blends, which we feel will quickly achieve FDA approval."

The company estimated that once these products hit the market a two-week course of treatment can be provided at a cost of $5,000 per patient—an amount that Lyman called "very reasonable considering there are no other effective approved alternatives for the treatment of this deadly disease."

In related news, the American Medical Association, American Pharmacists Association, and American Society of Health-System Pharmacists called for an immediate end to ordering, prescribing, or dispensing ivermectin to prevent or treat COVID-19. The group labeled the numerous reports of the success of this drug in treating the virus in various places including India, Africa, and Peru "anecdotal" and "not compatible with the far more sophisticated medical knowledge and practice in the United States."

Biden Outraged by Texas Abortion Limitation

The US Supreme Court's 5-4 decision to let a Texas law banning the abortion of a child after a heartbeat can be detected in the unborn baby was strongly denounced by President Biden.

"This extreme Texas law blatantly violates the constitutional right established under Roe v. Wade and upheld as precedent for nearly half a century," Biden contended. "I am directing that council and the office of the white house counsel to launch a whole-of-government effort to respond to this decision, looking specifically to the Department of Health and Human Services and the Department of Justice to see what steps the federal government can take to ensure that women in Texas have access to safe and legal abortions as protected by Roe, and what legal tools we have to insulate women and providers from the impact of Texas' bizarre scheme."

The "bizarre scheme" the President objects to is that the Texas law allows private citizens to sue abortion providers and those who "aid and abet" illegal post-heartbeat abortions. Oddly, the President has previously voiced his approval of a similar type scheme in which private citizens would be authorized to sue gun and ammunition manufacturers if a criminal uses a firearm to injure or kill them.

Press Secretary Jen Psaki denied that the two schemes are comparable. "In one case we have real live human beings being shot and killed," she asserted. "In the other we have women being denied the court-given right to dispose of an unwanted child. And might I also point out that a recent article in the Journal of Medical Ethics argued in favor of post-birth termination of an unwanted child. Clearly, both Texas and the Supreme Court are on the wrong side of history on this issue."

Celebrity abortion supporter Bette Midler called for a sex strike, saying "I suggest that all women refuse to have sex with men until they are guaranteed the right to choose by Congress." The irony is that such a strike would prevent conception and, thus, eliminate the "need" to have to resort to an abortion to get rid of an unwanted child.