I am a young mother. I have a new baby. I also have a 4-year-old. My 4-year-old was fully vaccinated as an infant and young child. I didn't know anything about vaccines, and I didn't know to question. I did things differently with my little one, and she has not had any vaccines - no hepatitis B at birth, and no vitamin K injection.

I have received a notice from my family doctor (or pediatrician) that it is time to bring my children in for their "well-baby" and "well-child" check-ups. Getting that notice makes me feel sick to my stomach. I know that I do not want to further vaccinate my older child, and I know that I do not want to vaccinate my baby at all.

My decision has not been made lightly. I have spent many hours researching and learning about vaccines, their ingredients, the lack of placebo-controlled studies, and the fact that they have never been studied for safety or efficacy as they are administered according to The CDC's Childhood Schedule.

I have also prayed about this. A lot.
When I allowed my older child to be vaccinated, I felt a horrible sense of dread every time. I "knew" it was wrong. My mother's intuition was screaming at me to grab my baby from that table and run out the door… but I didn't know why… and I didn't listen to that voice. I realize now that that voice… that "intuition"… is the voice of God. I didn't listen before, but I am listening now. And now, I know why vaccinating my babies is not right for my family. I know better now; so now, I will do better.

This is the basis of my faith. I have erred in the past. I have asked for forgiveness and said many prayers of thanks that my oldest appears to have escaped significant harm as a result of my uninformed actions. I will not make the same mistake again. My resolve is strong. But I still feel so anxious about this appointment. I think I'm going to vomit.

How can I prepare myself? What can I do to ensure I am not coerced or bullied? What can I take with me to let the doctor know that I have not made a snap decision, and I am not just listening to others' opinions?