"Future Headline Friday" is our satirical take of where the world is going if it remains on its current path. While our satire may be humorous and exaggerated, rest assured that everything we write is based on actual events, news stories, personalities, and pending legislation.

September 1, 2029: Fed's New CDBC "FedCoin" Hacked After Just Six Days

Neither the Treasury Department nor Federal Reserve have commented on the issues with the brand-new FedCoin system since it went offline over 36 hours ago.

But what we have been able to gather so far is that the problems started six days after the launch of the highly touted digital currency meant to replace the US dollar.

Rumors on the dark web began to swirl that a hacker group calling itself Reserve Raiders had infiltrated the FedCoin servers, and transferred itself $10 billion.

One alleged member commented, "FedCoin's security was equivalent to one of those spring locks you can open by sliding a credit card between the door. It has eight-months-from-retirement written all over it."

Another added, "We could have taken any amount we wanted— just kept adding zeros. We stopped at $10 billion because we honestly just felt bad. And of course if we conjured too much money out of thin air to steal, it would just hyper-inflate and be worthless to us."

Only a few hours later, the entire FedCoin infrastructure stopped functioning.