In California, we like the names of our policies and institutions to reflect exactly the opposite of what they actually stand for. For instance, the Safe Neighborhoods and Schools Act actually has no mention of schools or safety. It is a bill that reduces prison sentences for violent offenders and provides for early prisoner release and more lax parole standards. Here in opposite-land, releasing thousands of hardened criminals into the population before they've served their time is called Safety.

One would imagine that the California Citizens Compensation Commission probably has something to do with taxes, or reimbursing residents for something or other or offering Californians a way to appeal for compensation from the state when they feel they have been wronged by the state.

Wrong, idiots!