You must play your part in the sickness ritual of putting it on to walk inside and then take it off at the table while you eat – then put it on again to walk out after your meal. The point being to make you play your part – unless you are one of the Faithful who bee-lieves that viruses don't spread at the table but only while you're walking to and fro.

And that intermittently wearing a disgusting Mouth Codpiece will protect you.

It may soon become impossible to enter without proof of the Jab, if the hypochondria that's been weaponized isn't properly treated.

If it isn't – which seems likely given the new Hypochondriac-in-Chief – then it will become necessary to find ways to eat without leaving home.

One such way is to reproduce your food.  Get a few chickens – but don't eat them.

Eat their eggs!

I currently have seven hens, raised from chicks purchased for approximately the cost of a large, everything-on-it pizza, which you can only eat once. The girls lay at least half a dozen eggs every day, which is enough high-quality protein for two people's needs without ever having to worry about wearing a Mouth Codpiece or being Jabbed. The eggs canbe added to pasta dishes, made into sandwiches or eaten just as they are, boiled or fried or however you like.