A Brighton, Colorado, School District 27J spokesman refused interview requests, but told an ABC affiliate by email that the kindergartner's suspension was "consistent with our district policy."

That policy targets fake 'guns' which could be reasonably mistaken for actual weapons — but the district almost inarguably crossed the line into the absurd with a plastic, princess bubble gun.

Nathan Woodliff-Stanley, executive director of the ACLU of Colorado cited by the ABC affiliate, called such incidents a 'national embarrassment' — citing another five-year-old's suspension in 2013 for a 'Hello Kitty' gun, another student for shaping his breakfast pastry like a gun, and a third where a student landed a suspension over pointing their finger like a gun.

It would appear overprotection has turned to outright paranoia, if not complete abandonment of reason. Could any reasonable threat be assumed from a plastic gun emblazoned with a princess theme — which shoots only soapy water?