Dear American Politicians and People,

Please not to embrace reactionary imperialistic forces of Dalai Lama. Dalai Lama shoot laser beam from eyes and too, missiles from the fingers. He is very dangerous person. You not let him in, very bad. Very bad for Chinese peoples. Very bad for American people. Dalai Lama eat your children. Beside, we have all you nuclear technology. We steal from you. How you like you technology back in form of ICBM? Dalai Lama very dangerous. For you round-eye.

Sign,

-China