People, consider the election of a nude model who drives a truck as an avatar for the "newly invigorated GOP". Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips has reportedly said "I want to make a million off this movement" but that's a limited vision by a narrow minded man.

 

The truth is we can ALL become millionaires off this movement if we play it right.

 

The image of victory in Mass is a naked man in a truck. A rock hard naked man in a truck. A rock hard naked capitalist man driving forward endlessly in his truck.

 

It's a tradition. Arnold Schwarsenager. Jesse Ventura and now their feminine counterpart, Caribou Barbie with the tight butt and bunny-rabbit cute demeanour.

 

And it's been a great career move for each of these! Arnold gets to limit himself to cameo appearences and say "hasta la vista baby" and "I'll be back", Caribou Barbie swings $100k to talk about how she BAILED on being a politician and shake her little thang and Jesse is in open competition with Alex Jones about who can be the most attention-getting hysterical freak (along with dark horse candidate Glen Beck), everybody is making money, selling books and DVDs, the Tea Party Nation is limited to those who can put themselves up in a 5-star hotel and pay $550-odd for tickets and now we got Brown the nude model.

 

Brown's thing is hanging out (lol) on 500+ count Egyptian cotton sheets and smiling for the camera. He fits right in. And ya gotta admit, if the sheets were 50% poly, it just wouldn't have made it with the Mass set. It was a bow to the Kennedy (of fame, not the largely ignored liberty candidate in Mass, Joe Kennedy) tradition of class in Mass.

 

Hey, you can do anything you want with anybody in Mass as long as it's on pure cotton sheets, preferrably on a Yacht anchored off Nantucket Island or maybe Martha's Vinyard once a year to show the illiterati that you care about their poor, benighted asses too.

 

Well who am I to buck a trend? Especially when it's so clearly successful. I spend a lot of time thinking and internalizing about the past, present and future of the movement and my latest conclusion is that we seriously need to re-brand.

 

We should just go with it and become the Tits And Dicks and Actors party (TADA!).

 

After this moment, all we have to do is run an "American Idol" type campaign and make sure our actors are minimally ready to do what we tell them to. And this comes naturally to all actors. Just get up there and shake it honey, blow kisses, do that jiggle for the people, camera loves you.

 

And the deal couldn't be simpler: to the actor it's like "do what we tell you to do and you can be the mostest importantest person in the wholest universe (est)".

It should really work like a charm.

 

OK so candidate 2012 might as well be Brown if he can keep his body but one of his daughters might do as well. Let's just pick somebody with a killer bod who's willing to take it off for the camera.

 

If we do this right, we could absolve our national debt selling POTUS pr0n. Any porn producer knows you save the best for last. You start out with nude softcore stills, get into video, work it and finally bring it down to full penetration, couples and anal shots. Work the product through it's whole life cycle until everybody is spent on it then we find another. Hey, they sold us, let's sell them. Capitalism baby.

ATTENTION GOVERNOR BROWN: REPORT TO THE GYM TO PREPARE FOR NATIONAL OFFICE.

 

If you are the kind of American who's sick of all this and appreciates some direct language and likes naked politicians, consider joining the Tits and Dicks and Actors party (TADA!!!!) today. We'll all score film contracts and we'll ALL become millionaires.

See back a few years ago when all the movement could talk about was Ron Paul and I kept shouting "Brad Pitt"? Now you are sorry you stupid maf's.