COVID Tyranny Ratchets Up

In New York City, Mayor Bill de Blasio's decree blocking unvaccinated persons from entering public buildings and many commercial businesses discriminates against blacks. It turns out that 72% of blacks aged 18-44 have not been vaccinated against COVID. A New York Times investigation of the reason for this phenomenon concluded that "during these uncertain times they could not trust the government with their health."

De Blasio called this reluctance to get vaccinated "foolish. Look, the majority of white New Yorkers have been smart enough to see that obedience earns them freedom. By barring the disobedient from our public spaces I'm hoping that they recognize that they really have no choice but to comply with our decision that vaccination is for their own good."

In Los Angeles, the City Council voted unanimously to bar unvaccinated people from entering supermarkets. City Council President Nury Martinez labeled de Blasio's passport scheme "an incomplete measure. People can survive being banned from eating out, working out, or going to the theater. As long as they can by food they can thumb their noses at our request that they take the shot. By closing that loophole we will starve them into submission."

Councilman Mitch O'Farrell emphasized "we are at war with this virus. All must be united in support of our efforts to eradicate COVID. Ideally, everyone would voluntarily comply with our directive and get vaccinated. But since we're not seeing universal obedience we are forced to take stronger steps to achieve the goal of 100% vaccination." O'Farrell admitted that "even barring access to supermarkets isn't total control. Unvaccinated people could still beg for food from others or eat out of garbage cans. I believe a rigorous enforcement effort by City police can interdict most of such attempts to skirt the law."

In Washington, DC, President Biden is said to be exploring the possibility of requiring proof of vaccination to cross state lines. "The heroic actions of leaders like Mayor de Blasio and Council President Martinez should be an inspiration to all patriotic Americans," Biden said. "They are going the extra mile to prevent the spread of COVID. I can't leave them out on a limb. We need to take action on a broader scale. That's why I am now conferring with constitutional experts to see if I have the authority to bar the unvaccinated from carrying the contagion across state lines."

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ken), an admitted opponent of government tyranny, disputed Biden's characterization of these oppressive measures as "heroic. They are encroachments on the liberties of the people without good cause. Threats aimed at inducing people to submit to the experimental vaccines are the actions of dictators. Free travel between the states was one of the reasons why the US Constitution was implemented in 1789. The President has no legitimate power to decree that a vaccine passport is needed to enjoy this freedom. Stopping travelers and demanding to see their papers is the kind of intrusion on freedom we saw in Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union."

In related news, an outbreak of four new cases of COVID in the Australian Capital Territory led the government to put 400,000 inhabitants under house arrest. Chief Minister Andrew Barr explained that "the only way we are going to eradicate this virus is by minimizing human-to-human contact as much as possible. This is especially necessary now that the vaccines seem to be losing their potency against the COVID variants."

Vaccine Risk/Reward Disputed

After months of reports of adverse effects connected to the COVID vaccines—11,000 deaths and 60,000 serious injuries in the US and 20,000 deaths and nearly a million serious injuries in Europe—the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has finally issued a "black box" warning that the vaccines may lead to heart inflammation, permanent disability, and death. Though the frequency of adverse effects being experienced with the COVID vaccines is higher than the total for all other vaccines over the past twenty years, the FDA decided against recalling the drugs because "given the extreme severity of the COVID illness itself, the adverse effects are deemed to be within an acceptable range."

A new study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that 82% of women vaccinated during the first or second trimester of pregnancy suffered spontaneous abortions. Nevertheless, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) says "COVID-19 vaccination is recommended for all people 12 years and older, including people who are pregnant, breastfeeding, trying to get pregnant now, or might become pregnant in the future." Their justification for this recommendation was that "even though there were larger than expected numbers of miscarriages, the benefits of receiving a COVID-19 vaccine for pregnant people outweigh every known or potential risk."

Dr. Anthony Fauci defended the CDC's recommendation, saying that "a woman stands a better chance of surviving a miscarriage than surviving a severe case of COVID. Preventing a severe case is the purpose of the vaccination. So it's a question of how much risk a woman should accept in order to save the life of her unborn fetus. To me it's a no-brainer. Take the shot and live. You can always get pregnant again after the pandemic is crushed when 100% of our population is vaccinated."

Dr. Vladimir Zelenko disagreed with the CDC's and Fauci's recommendation, arguing that "seeing what has happened from following their advice, they have no credibility. My protocol for the early treatment of COVID patients with Zinc plus low-dose hydroxychloroquine and azithromycin, had an 85% success rate. Yet, the CDC steadfastly did everything it could to suppress these positive results and discredit my methods. In contrast, the treatment for COVID that constituted the 'accepted practice' was to make patients wait at home until their conditions became so severe that when they did go to the hospital a majority of them died."

French Virologist and Nobel Prize Winner Luc Montagnier warned that "the rapid pace of mutations in coronaviruses renders the strategy of mass inoculations futile. It is fair to say that the mass vaccinations are stimulating the rate of mutation creating more and more variants. In each country the curve of vaccination is followed by the curve of deaths. The insistence that everyone must be vaccinated is scientific madness and medical error."

Fauci insisted that "both Zelenko and Montagnier are wrong. There is no proof that Zelenko's protocol saved any lives because he had no 'control group' receiving a placebo. No government authority gave official approval for using hydroxychloroquine for the purpose of treating COVID. In contrast, the vaccines were specifically designed for immunizing people against the virus. Vaccination is the only strategy that has been officially authorized. So, even if Zelenko is correct in his claim that he saved lives he did so without proper authorization."

"As for Montagnier, he completely ignores the morale boosting function of the vaccines," Fauci complained. "Whether they work or not, they give people hope and the belief that they are making their contribution in this war against the most dangerous enemy this nation has ever faced. For that he ought to be shot...with the vaccine. See how I made a little joke to boost the people's spirits in this time of crisis. This is why people everywhere trust and rely on my advice for combating this terrible disease."

In related news, a search of US patents revealed that Fauci holds the patent for a glycoprotein in HIV that has also been found in the COVID-19 virus. This spike glycoprotein is not found in any other coronavirus. The big mystery now is how did the Wuhan bats get their hands on this HIV component and how did they insert it into COVID-19. To date there is no record of any royalties that might be owed to Fauci for the use of his invention.

Biden Begs for Oil

With gas prices on the rise, President Biden is pleading with foreign governments to "boost oil production and help us out of the hole we're in. Our domestic oil producers have been unable to meet our country's needs. The shortfall is blocking my efforts to build back better. Everything is becoming more expensive. Our ability to defend ourselves from hostile actors is severely weakened. My military advisors tell me that we would lose a war if one broke out under these circumstances."

National Security Advisor Jake Sullivan sharply criticized OPEC "for putting their own interests ahead of those of us who desperately need the oil they could produce. Look at all we've done for them. We've spent billions trying to save these countries from ISIS and other fanatics. We canceled the Keystone Pipeline and withdrew drilling rights on much of the land owned by our federal government. How about a little payback in the form of higher supplies and lower prices."

Gov. Mike Dunleavy (R-Alaska) called the Biden Administration's actions "pathetic. We had energy independence when Trump was president. The steps that Biden has taken to undo this independence are the reason why oil supplies are down and prices are up. Why would he expect OPEC to be sympathetic. Most of the countries in OPEC hate America."

Biden Press Secretary Jen Psaki chastised Dunleavy's remarks as "unhelpful. At a time when we should be unified behind the President the Republicans are playing politics. The President has no recollection of doing any of things to hamper the domestic energy industry that he's being accused of here. I don't recall him doing those things. I've seen no media reports attributing energy shortages and price increases to any action taken by the President. Clearly, the effort to shift blame onto the President is just more GOP disinformation."

In related news, several lobbying firms with connections to President Biden have seen their revenues quadruple over the last six months. Psaki hailed this as "clear evidence that President Biden is getting the US economy moving again. The doldrums of the Trump years have been replaced with boom times for our nation's hard-working influence peddlers. President Biden's mantra of 'build back better' is more inspiring and invigorating than Trump's 'you're fired.'"

Obama Birthday Bash Not a Super Spreader

Former President Obama's 60th birthday party was declared not to be a super spreader event by the media, even though hundreds of unmasked guests cavorted at his palatial estate on Martha's Vineyard over a three day period. New York Times reporter Annie Karni declared the affair "was low risk because the guests were drawn from a better class of people than the deplorables attending Trump rallies."

This totally safe and healthy gathering was contrasted with the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally taking place in South Dakota the same weekend. As Dr. Anthony Fauci explained to NBC's Chuck Todd on Meet the Press, "I'm very concerned that we're going to see another surge in COVID cases related to that rally. The people there are not the kind of sophisticated celebrities who are friends of the former President. They are ordinary people. There will probably be fist-fights and knifings that will help spread the virus."

"It would be safer for ordinary people to be satisfied vicariously through reading about or seeing videos of their betters having a good time," Fauci advised. "The guests at Obama's party are all people who have done so much more for our country than the Sturgis crowd could ever hope to contribute. Rather than fuel the spread of COVID those motorcyclists owe it to the rest of us to not socialize until the government gives the 'all clear signal' that the pandemic is over. Meanwhile, those that aren't vaxxed need to get vaxxed before we are compelled to force the vaccine on them."