You might have missed the announcement in the midst of the latest horrendous terrorism news, but President Obama has called for auto loan debt to be paid off by the federal government.

Standing yesterday on the floor of a BMW assembly plant in Greer, South Carolina, Obama said, "Today I'm calling on Congress to do the fair and just thing and pay off all current and future auto loans for the working class, middle class, and students.  It's not fair that the rich can easily buy a BMW with cash but everyone else has to take out a 67-month loan at exorbitant interest."

His remarks were immediately applauded by the United Auto Workers (UAW), the National Association of Manufacturers (NAM), the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), and the Communist Party of the United States of America (CPUSA).

Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders said, "I praise the president for bringing together UAW, NAM, NAACP, and CPUSA."

Presidential candidate Donald Trump retorted to Sanders, "It doesn't make sense to include NAM, er, Vietnam, in this.  Let the rice pickers pay for their own cars."  

Obama explained that the average new car loan debt is now $28,711, about equal to the average student loan debt, and the average loan term on new cars is now 67 months.

He went on to say, "My administration has initiated a program to excuse tuition debt for a college degree, which can benefit a person with a lifetime of higher earnings.  It would be highly illogical not to also excuse car debt, which results in people owning something worthless and extremely costly to maintain after six years.  That makes no sense."

The left wing of the Democrat Party criticized the plan for not going far enough.  Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said that college should be free and so should cars.  Nancy Pelosi, minority leader of the House of Representatives, agreed:  "Until we have 82 million miles of light rail lines in this country, cars are as necessary as a good education for finding a job with a livable wage."

A spokesperson for Tesla Motors criticized the plan for including car loans for autos with internal combustion engines.  "This will only make global warming worse," he said.  "Only battery-powered cars should be subsidized."

In a written statement, the Energizer bunny agreed.

Wall Street was in full support of the president's plan.  Joshua Goldberg, the 12th assistant vice president to the 32nd vice president of Goldman Sachs, pointed out that a rapidly increasing percent of car loans are now subprime.  "With more and more people with low FICO scores getting 72-month car loans," he warned, "a bubble is forming that could blow up like the housing bubble."

Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen agreed with Goldberg:  "To deflate the bubble and pay for the program, the Federal Reserve will print all the money that is necessary."