How do I know this? Because Republican lawmakers on the House Oversight Committee have said they have an airtight case against Biden, and they'll get down to the business of imprisoning him just as soon as they locate their key informant, whom they now say is missing.

"Unfortunately, we can't track down the informant," GOP Rep. James Comer told Fox News on Sunday. "We're hopeful that the informant is still there."

Don't let the GOP's lack of evidence fool you, Joe Biden is guilty of something!

We're all very hopeful! And we certainly have no reason to doubt Republican claims of vast criminal wrongdoing by Biden. Just last week, the oversight committee released a preliminary report on its four-month-long investigation that showed, definitively, what Fox News' Steve Doocy described as "no evidence that Joe Biden did anything illegally."

GOTCHA, SLEEPY JOE! We all know what criminal masterminds like Biden are best at: Not leaving evidence that shows they did anything illegally. Checkmate.

While the committee members try to locate their informant, who is definitely a real human person who exists, and assemble what I'm sure will be mountains of evidence detailing Biden's crime-doing, let's consider past Republican promises that have worked out great.