$575 million towards 'family planning' and 'reproductive health.' $1.2 million for centers that support LGBTQ students at a San Diego Community College District. $3 million towards the New York Historical Society's 'American LGBTQ+ Museum Partnership Project.' $750,000 to the Translatin Coalition. And a brand new "pandemic czar" to replace the elf-like Anthony Fauci, who is apparently hitching a ride with Santa to get the h-e-double-hockeysticks out of Washington before any wild-eyed senators from Kentucky can exact a highly televised reckoning upon him.

But while Fauci is destined to while away his remaining years chained to a tinker's table at the North Pole (let a writer dream), it may come as some surprise that the Washington politicians also make this year's "naughty list" for seeking to snatch away Americans' firearms while looting presents from their Christmas trees.