If you've ever had the misfortune to unwittingly sign up as a naïve adolescent for a sociology course at a mid-sized state university, waited too long to withdraw during the add/drop period, and so were forced to sit through a semester's worth of frothing diatribes against the White Patriarchy delivered by a menopausal hippie divorcée with a neon-dyed bowl cut, as I have, these are the least surprising poll results in human history:

"The US polling, which was conducted as part of the 2022 American Family Survey, found that liberals were about 18 percentage points less likely to be "completely satisfied" with their "mental health" than conservatives. The problem seems to be particularly acute for liberal women, who registered the lowest levels of satisfaction with their lives and mental health."

Parsing the data, sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox concluded that marriage and family status have a lot to do with the ideological and gender discrepancy: "Given that conservatives aged 18-55 are about 20 percentage points more likely to be married, as well as 18 percentage points more likely to be satisfied with their families, the lesson here is obvious. Marriage and family are strongly linked to happiness and to personal mental health in particular."

Another study established a connection between religiosity, which conservatives possess in greater abundance, and more optimal mental health outcomes.

These assessments are probably at least partially accurate, but perhaps there's a newer, independent variable worth exploring that's sprung up in the last two years.