by Daisy Luther and Dagny Taggart

Nobody was really surprised when it was reported last weekend that Jeffrey Epstein was found dead in his jail cell of an apparent "suicide." And also, nobody really believed the official story. I find it heartening to know that the American people no longer swallow the stories without question.

The results of our informal poll over the weekend show that hardly any of our readers believe that an egomaniacal narcissist like Epstein would have voluntarily killed himself.

You can still pop over to go vote in this poll.

So what happened to Jeffrey Epstein? Here are 5 theories aside from the official story.

Russia, of course.

The Russia hysteria that swept through the election of Donald Trump shows little sign of abating and some people even think that the Russians were responsible for the death of Epstein.

Joe Scarborough, host of Morning Joe on MSNBC got the ball rolling with this offhand tweet:

After a whole bunch of outraged tweets, it turned out he was just kidding.

Mark Rubio thinks the Russians are involved but only because the Russians are blaming the Clintons.

This leads us to our next theory.

The Clintons, of course.

There are a lot of powerful people who wouldn't want the world hearing what Epstein had to say about their unsavory sexual predilections. Topping that list could be a guy with frequent flier miles on the Lolita Express.

A trending hashtag on Twitter right now is #ClintonBodyCount. And we've got to be honest, there are a lot and we mean a lot of bodies that have fallen in the wake of Bill and Hil, so many that the term "Arkancide" is listed in Urban Dictionary. Totally unrelated, we're sure, despite what this book on Amazon or this documentary says.