I told him that if he jammed my groin, I'd file a formal complaint against him. So he summoned his supervisor to keep an eye on the proceedings. After his white-suited boss arrived on the scene, I announced that I too, needed a witness. The boss bureaucrat assured me there was a video camera recording the scene. "But does it have audio?" I demanded to know. "That's confidential security information," he replied. "Ha! More like security theater," I retorted.

I thought of this exchange when the New York Times revealed that the TSA has created a new secret watchlist for troublesome passengers. The TSA justifies the new list because TSA screeners were said to have been assaulted 34 times last year. "We were seeing an alarming increase in the number of assaults against our officers," fretted Darby LaJoye, one of the TSA's top security officials. TSA spokeswoman Lisa Farbstein declared, "TSA is committed to its people and wants to ensure there are safeguards in place to protect TSA officers and others from any individual who has previously exhibited disruptive or assaultive behavior at a screening checkpoint and is scheduled to fly."

However, the TSA's press office refused to release a list or any details of those assaults, including how many times accused assailants were arrested. The TSA also refused to answer my question: "How does TSA define an 'assault' on a TSA screener?" I was told I would need to file a Freedom of Information Act request for that information, but the TSA scorns federal law and often delays responses for months or years. Such tactics help explain why some people believe that "TSA" stands for "tactics to suppress accountability."