You have a fully stocked supply of fish antibiotics for any situation. You don't have any fish.

You've practiced clearing your home so many times, you dream about it in your sleep. You realize the hardest thing about doing it in real life will be trying not to giggle.

When buying groceries, you pretend to look at the ingredients but half the time, you buy them for the container. You don't even need the container.

You give a blistering commentary when Doomsday Preppers is on. You still take notes.

Whenever you drink rum, you fantasize about vacationing on a deserted island so you could drink rum in a hammock and plan out how you'd defend it all from hoards of pirate marauders. And how you'd make rum.

The local antique store greets you like Norm from Cheers and takes you to the back room where they've collected items just for you. You buy a third hand drill out of guilt.

When you open a new fancy gift at Christmas, you thank them with a smile but secretly think, "WTF? This wouldn't survive an EMP blast."