You see, my father was born in 1933. He was a paperboy in the days when paperboys stood on city corners and shouted "Extra!"

In his home, the newspaper still is king. He has two delivered daily. He reads every inch of both. He does the crossword puzzles in both, too – with a pencil.

(Note to people under 30: A pencil is a small, yellow stick that leaves a mark when its tip is pressed against paper.)

My father knows that people can do crossword puzzles on their computers and smartphones, but the idea is nutty to him. Only an idiot would bring electronic equipment into the bathroom.

To be sure, my father has shunned the communications marvels of modern times. He uses my mother's smartphone – but only to avoid long-distance charges. I showed him how to use her phone to text family members, but he gave up on that fast.

(Note to people over 50: texting is when you press both thumbs against a smartphone keypad to bastardize the English language.)

I bought him a Kindle for Christmas a few years ago and created an email account for him. He gave it a try but quickly lost interest in emailing anyone.

I showed him how to search the web to locate people and businesses. He gave that a try, too, but still prefers to use the White Pages or Yellow Pages.