I could speculate about what brought P.J. to this unspeakable lapse in judgment, but instead, I want to bring an unprecedented sense of proportion to the concept of voting for "the lesser of two evils."

If Donald Trump is a bad guy—and, given his sticky-fingered habits with other people's real estate, I have no doubt whatever that he is, at more levels than one—then comparing the New York Mercantilist King to the former Worst Lady is more than a little like comparing Mister Smee (Captain Hook's bumbling henchman) to Hannibal Lecter.

If you think I exaggerate, I urge you to consider: Mr. Smee killed nobody, as far as I remember, while Hannibal Lecter killed (and sometimes ate) about three dozen victims. With fava beans, he said, and a nice Chianti. Of course, Lecter was a mostly fictional character if you go in for that sort of thing, strictly eliminating other fictional characters.