I wanted it because I had come to a momentous decision: After seven years with an iPhone, I was going to get a significantly dumber phone. And what could be dumber than the phone I was rocking circa 2005, a Samsung knockoff of the legendary Motorola Razr? But anti-style points aside, I was trying to respond to a feeling that had been creeping up on me for a long time, but that had only recently become strong and clear: Social media were stalking me from my pocket.
Back when that feeling was still inchoate, I had made some changes in my technological life. Influenced by the indie-web movement, I stopped using Tumblr and Instagram and transferred all my attention to my own turf. I retreated to a private Twitter account and unfollowed everyone on my public account, reserving it for link-sharing only—basically, an RSS feed.