he rumors are true: author EL James is writing another book in the worldwide hit series, Fifty Shades of Please God Not Again. The new book, to be released this summer, will be written not from the point of view of original protagonist Anastasia, but from the perspective of the domination-happy and ultra-rich Christian Grey.As if women don't hear enough about what sex counts as "good" from real assholes, now we're going to have to contend with the perspective of a fictional one as well!

The book, desperate not raise reader expectations beyond mind-numbing obviousness and mediocrity, will be called, "Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian." Riveting.

Yes, I realize I'm in the minority here – over 100m copies of the so-called erotica series have been sold, and the movie adaptation broke records with its $81.7m dollar opening weekend. But its popularity can't change the horrific combination of bad writing, BDSM myths and the charming notion that most women secretly want a bossy rich guy to stalk them and smack them around a bit.