Why don't you put the vaporizer down and do something constructive like, oh, maybe go work for Privateer Holdings.

Privateer invests in legal marijuana companies, and it just raised $75 million for a total of $82 million. That's a lot of cash for grass. Its clean-cut crew has invested in three firms so far: Tilray, which focuses on medical marijuana in Canada; Leafly, which helps users explore strains and find dispensaries; and Marley Natural, which will offer hemp-infused lotions.

The bud boom is hardly surprising, really, since almost half of US states are embracing cannabis to some degree. Bad news for Mexican cartels, but good news for you. We made a video quantifying the exact state of your preferred altered state. Weed delivery apps anyone?