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Boris Johnson: 'Vote Tory, get broadband. Vote Ukip, get Miliband'
• theguardian.comTo the launch of the Conservatives' London campaign in Mill Hill, then, and a reception only a few pairs of knickers short of rapturous. The venue was a musical theatre hall - obviously - but London's mayor and prospective candidate for Uxbridge and South Ruislip sought to deliver us to Boris land, where boring little "polytechnic sociology lecturers" like Ed Miliband are barred, and we all know where we are with a decent gag about a German invasion.
Boris had entered pursued by the local MP, Matthew Offord, and a wildly overexcited Jack Russell sporting a blue rosette, whose barking threatened to make any speech impossible. The great American satirist PJ O'Rourke was standing next to me, so I congratulated him on stumbling upon an auto-parodic British scene.