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Boris Johnson: 'Vote Tory, get broadband. Vote Ukip, get Miliband'

• theguardian.com

To the launch of the Conservatives' London campaign in Mill Hill, then, and a reception only a few pairs of knickers short of rapturous. The venue was a musical theatre hall - obviously - but London's mayor and prospective candidate for Uxbridge and South Ruislip sought to deliver us to Boris land, where boring little "polytechnic sociology lecturers" like Ed Miliband are barred, and we all know where we are with a decent gag about a German invasion.

Boris had entered pursued by the local MP, Matthew Offord, and a wildly overexcited Jack Russell sporting a blue rosette, whose barking threatened to make any speech impossible. The great American satirist PJ O'Rourke was standing next to me, so I congratulated him on stumbling upon an auto-parodic British scene.

Anyway, they got the dog under control, and it turned out its name was Max, and that he was Offord's pet or chief of staff or something.

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