David Conner, a 43-year-old resident of Redding, California, will spend at least three years in a government cage in Idaho because a State Trooper in Oregon spied an open can of Monster energy drink in Conner's rental car.

The presence of that foul but perfectly legal concoction, Trooper Ryan Mills insisted, is an "indicator" of criminal activity. The trooper also considered it suspicious that Conner was making a long trip in a rented car during the middle of the week. Owing to his "experience and training," Mills insisted during his January 22nd testimony in Conner's trial, he simply knew that Conner "wasn't just driving to grandma's house."...